


IKEA: A Magical Place

by Sare_K



Series: Assemble: Or How the Avengers Learned They Could Have Lives AND Save the World [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, IKEA is a Magical Place, Vodka makes up for all sins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 15:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1714988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sare_K/pseuds/Sare_K
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Avengers are away Clint and Natasha are stuck on call. Apparently on-call means saving your friends when they're caught in flagrante delicto in the most random of places.</p>
            </blockquote>





	IKEA: A Magical Place

**Author's Note:**

> The title was inspired by my roommate. We're moving this weekend and went to IKEA last week to buy stuff. I'd never been and my initial reaction was "Wow." Her response was "IKEA: It's a magical place."

If it had been any other day Steve would have gotten the call. If Steve hadn’t been doing Logan a solid, he would have taken the call. But Steve was in Westchester with the X-Men, Tony was in LA, Thor was back in Asgard, and Bruce was taking a much needed vacation with Betty Ross. Clint was reclining on the sofa, up to his elbows in stacked, possibly insane, Russian, redheaded assassin when his phone rang. Then hers. As the only Avengers on call they were obligated to answer in case something was wrong. And something was usually wrong. Today, they ignored the call. And the second. And the third. The fourth time Clint’s phone rang Natasha sat up and fished it out of his pants, which were on the floor.

“It’s Darcy,” she said. She then checked her own phone. “Черт побери. And James.”

“Think they’re in trouble?” Clint asked.

“Is that actually a question?” Natasha replied. Clint sighed and answered.

“Barton. Darcy. It’s not really a good time. I’m a little busy. Yes, that counts as busy. Seriously, is the world blowing up or something? No, I will not…you did what? You’re where? I’m not even gonna…YES. Yes, we’re coming.”

With that he hung up, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing. Natasha was already on her feet, fully dressed in a matter of seconds.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“IKEA.”

* * *

They found them in one of the bedroom displays, surrounded by store security. Darcy was on top of James. His right hand and her left were handcuffed together through the bed frame. When Darcy saw Clint and Natasha, she waved. James met Natasha’s glare with a sheepish grin.

“I swear, we can explain.”

* * *

 

One hour, many apologies, and a quick call to Sharon (the woman was brilliant at smoothing things over, really) later and the four were back in the elevator heading up to the common area.  Darcy and James were still poking and prodding at each other like a couple of horny teenagers, blatantly ignoring the glares that Clint and Natasha were throwing at them. When they finally got back to the common area James made a beeline for his apartment, leaving Darcy cornered by the two spies. She shuffled to the sofa and sat in the middle. With Clint and Natasha standing in front of her looking stern, she felt a bit like a disobedient child whose parents were scolding her.

“IKEA, Darcy?” Natasha said. “Really?”

“Seriously, kiddo,” Clint said. “I know you guys like to mess around in public, but for God’s sake!”

“What were you even doing in Ikea?” Natasha added.

Darcy shrugged. “We were shopping for new furniture for the apartment,” she said. “James wanted to test the beds. We got a little carried away.”

“A little?” Clint snorted.

“Handcuffs, though?” Natasha asked.

“Those were my idea,” James said as he reentered the room. He handed Natasha a bottle of top shelf Russian vodka. “Thanks for the trouble, Natalia.”

“Hey, what do I get?” Clint asked indignantly.

James smirked. “Oh no, that’s for both of you.”

Before Clint could say another word Natasha had grabbed him by the arm and taken him out of the room. James sat down next to Darcy and pulled her to him. Darcy cuddled into his chest and absentmindedly turned on the TV and started flipping channels.

“Do you keep a stash of expensive vodka, just for that?” Darcy asked.

“Yep,” James replied. “Quickest way to her heart is through vodka. And that stuff ain’t cheap.”

“Kinda stereotypical, don’t you think?” Darcy asked.

James shrugged. “Not really,” he said. “People take comfort in the things that remind them of home. Take me, for example. Half-thawed ex-assassin, right? But I’m still a sucker for Coney Island hotdogs or the cannolis from that bakery near where my parents used to live. And those pop-tarts you like so much. Why do you like them?”

“’Cause my mom used to get them for me when I was a kid,” she said. “I get it.”

* * *

They stayed that way for a long time, curled up on the sofa, watching TV. Eventually they dozed off. That was how Steve found them several hours later. He was exhausted from his trip to Westchester. He really did like working with the X-Men, but there were days when he just wanted to strangle Logan.  He was about to head to bed when he noticed James and Darcy asleep on the couch. He walked over and tapped James on the shoulder. At first James reacted with alarm, then relaxed when he realized who it was.

“Hey Steve,” he said, shifting to a more comfortable position. His movements woke Darcy, who moaned softly and opened her eyes.

“Hey Steve,” she said.

“Hey guys,” Steve replied. “Heard you had a busy day.”

James shrugged. “Wasn’t anything special.”

Steve chuckled and shook his head. “What’s so special about IKEA, anyway.”

Darcy smiled. “It’s a magical place.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm really enjoying writing those two. 
> 
> Again, you can find me at sare-k.tumblr.com!


End file.
